Picture this. June 2020 and confidence in the UK property market returns. Buyers, sellers, tenants and landlords alike continue to transact via online platforms. The property market has returned to normal, with one small exception. The only currency being accepted is loo rolls.
But how many toilet rolls do I need to buy my next home you might ask?
Well fear not. GetAgent.co.uk has conducted this essential research and translated previous property prices based on archaic pounds and pence into the new world currency. So whether you’re buying or renting, you can stockpile your toilet roll until such a time you can climb the ladder or secure your rental home.
With the average toilet roll costing 48p, homebuyers require 485,004 rolls of soft quilted goodness to afford the average UK house, however, to place a ten per cent deposit requires just 48,500.
In London, however, homebuyers require a staggering 999,839 loo rolls to buy outright or 99,984 to place a 10% mortgage deposit.
This cost is, of course, at its highest in Kensington and Chelsea where only premium brand loo roll is accepted and prospective buyers need to fork out over 2.6m of them to buy upfront, or 267,543 if they want to place a deposit.
The best value bog roll buy is in Burnley with just 18,961 required to place a deposit on a home.
Across the UK, the average monthly rent of £686 per month now means tenants require 1,417 rolls of toilet paper in order to secure a rental property. This climbs to 3,506 rolls in London - a huge 6,308 rolls a month in Kensington and Chelsea.
The North East is the most affordable region with 1,101 rolls required per month while Blaenau Gwent the most affordable area, with tenants requiring 849 rolls per month in rent.
Colby Short, Founder and CEO of GetAgent.co.uk, commented: “Thankfully, the Government has introduced measures to ensure that everyone living across the UK property market is protected financially for the short to mid-term at least, whether they be tenants, landlords or homeowners. This will certainly come as a relief to many and should prevent the market from slipping into a dystopian future where only loo roll holds any value when transacting.
However, for those members of society that felt it necessary to stockpile half of their town or city’s loo roll with no regard for their neighbours, we thought we would highlight how much they would need to buy or rent a property. Hopefully, they’re sitting in front of their 40 rolls feeling a bit silly right now and will refrain from repeating the act.”